Member-only story
We Need to Stop Calling Teachers Mrs. and Miss
If men are Mr., shouldn’t women be Ms.?
Last week, when I took my seat at the table for a run-of-the-mill special education meeting with counselors, teachers and the parents of one of my students, I was greeted with:
“This paperwork says Ms., but I see a ring on your finger. What’s the deal, are you married or not?”
This was the opening question from the student’s father.
I wish I had whipped off some snide remark that really put him in his place, but instead I gave my well-practiced reply: “I’m ______’s teacher. Let’s get started.”
It’s an unwritten rule at many schools that unmarried teachers ‘go by’ Miss and married teachers ‘go by’ Mrs. The title Ms. seems to be reserved for an undefined group of passive aggressive ladies who might be bitches and or lesbians. And with that tricky buzzing Z sound at the end, it might be too hard to pronounce for many people to use.
In all of my correspondence and paperwork, I refer to myself as Ms., often to the consternation of parents — especially men. One father asked me if I ‘didn’t love my husband enough to go by Mrs.’ Another time I got asked what my husband thought of me using Ms. instead of Mrs.