Member-only story
Three Dead Animals That Led Me To Love
When you know, you know.
I have only shot and killed one animal in my life. I was forty feet underwater, kicking my way through a magnificent kelp forest with a borrowed spearfishing gun propped on my shoulder. I didn’t know if I would pull the trigger, but when a silky smooth kelp bass came into view, I gave a slight twitch and saw the fish jump imperceptibly as the spear pierced its throat.
Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I reeled in the string that attached the spear to the gun. The fish struggled to get away, but I had shot it clean through, and within seconds, I was hugging it to my chest.
I burst to the surface and looked around for the friends who had coaxed me to come on this southern California adventure. They were still underwater so I swam towards the chase boat and dumped my gear — including the fish — inside.
My heart was pounding as I watched the colors fade from the fish’s beautiful scales.
When everyone else returned to the boat with fish of their own, we headed back to the much bigger boat where we were all living and working as crew. We showed off our catch and I was elated to be one of the gang that had provided dinner that evening.
Just as I was handing the fish off to the cook, my friend Carter took me aside and showed me a…
