Member-only story
Not All Couples Fight
It’s common, but it’s not inevitable.
I’ve been texting with my friend over a breakup this week (yes, this friend).
It’s sad because at first, he was crazy about this woman and certain they’d be together forever — or at least long enough to buy matching holiday sweaters. But they started arguing about something stupid and that led to fighting and then they were circling the drain. He ended things to avoid months of drama he was sure would ensue if they stayed together.
We texted about whether it’s healthy for a couple to start fighting in the first few months of dating. On one hand, those first few months are when you set boundaries, explore political differences, and are just figuring each other out, so maybe fighting is normal.
But on the other hand, when a relationship is new, shouldn’t it be all about the good stuff? I’m no expert and I know relationships take all shapes and forms, so I’d be a fool to take a position here.
But in our texts, one stood out. He said ‘All couples fight’ and that he’d be foolish to wait forever for that one special Unicorn that he wouldn’t want to fight with.
I’ve heard that phrase before, but it never really rubbed me the wrong way until now. It’s not that I think couples shouldn’t fight or that a relationship is doomed if the people in it fight…